So David's been camping with boys in Big Bend since Friday, and I've learned a thing or two on my own:
1. I do NOT like living without my husband. This may sound pretty pitiful, but I'm LOST without him. I mean. I can figure out the life necessities and things, but I'm just a mess when he's gone. Friday night I went to the Culture and Theology night at church (props to the Bowman's for saving me a seat. Who KNEW it would be so crowded??), and I came home, ate my dinner and played with Molly. (The Walkers were out of town... I was dog-sitting...) I stayed up til nearly 2:00 (I took the morning off and slept in.), and when I finally crawled into bed and started to turn the lights out -- I burst into tears. I mean, seriously. I looked at Molly (who looked at me like I was crazy) and just started crying. Thank goodness I have the best friend in the world who just moved out to California ALL by herself who also let me call her at midnight her time just to tell her I was lonely. I'm telling you.... pitiful.
2. I'm a real big slob. I spent the majority of the weekend laying on the couch with the laptop doing nothing productive and feeling ridiculous. I mean, I know that I am inherently a lazy person, but my goodness..... Although, I will say that I found this brain teaser website the has the logic problems with the little grids to solve the riddles... I know, I'm a huge huge nerd. :)
3. I really really love people. Spending a weekend alone has made me realize how much I not only miss my husband, but I miss my friends. This Saturday, the people on my team at work had a game get-together and played around. It was fun, I guess -- but it made me wish I could be spending the afternoon with my friends. I should've planned a game night with my own friends for the following evening, but if you'll refer to lesson 1 on the list, you'll remember that I was a bit of a mess this weekend. Logical thinking wasn't really on the menu.
I feel like I'm not making much sense. But I guess I just felt like talking to SOMEONE, even if it was just my little ol' blog. Moral of the story? I re-heeally miss my husband. Thank GOODNESS he's coming home tomorrow............. :)
Love.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Whew...
I don't really have much to discuss right now. I thought I'd lost my first post by trying to be super cute and changing my background to something Autumn-y in celebration of the pretty weather. But never fear, dear friends. The post still exists in cyber-space for all the creep-o's of the world (and actual people who know me) to read.
So I'm driving home from Andrea's tonight, and right as I exit the highway, a police car starts nearing mine. His lights are flashing, but there are no sirens. I'm looking behind me with the dread that only a police car can induce, as the lights are now flashing directly into my rear-view. With regret (and a bit of confusion -- I hadn't broken any laws that I knew of...) I turn on my signal and pull over to the right. --- The car then speeds past me, takes a quick left turn, and moves along.
So my mind starts racing. Of course I quickly realize that I, in fact, had NOT done anything wrong, and the police car was after someone else -- but I still feel that twinge of anxiety and worry stirring in my chest. Had I kept the officer from catching the bad-guy? Did his partner catch my license plate number in order to punish me in the future? Was the driving officer angry that I'd potentially ruined his pursuit? Did he think I was stupid?
And I pull into my apartment complex, and I start crying. Why? Why on earth would such a simple event like that make me cry??? It's so silly really... I worry enTIREly too much about what others think. Which makes it really ironic that I write in this blog to share with the world. But seriously, these are the ridiculous thoughts that run through my head at almost a continuous pace. Over-analyzing every little bity detail and considering everybody else's perspective. I'm well aware that many a time my worries are irrational and my concerns a bit absurd... Again, is this too personal for early blogs?? (See what I mean....?????) I'm just glad I didn't get a ticket. :)
Okay, so. Like I said, not much has been going on around here. Well, nothing super noteworthy or anything. David and I trucking along in our happy little home. Trying to figure out the next big step in life and trying to figure out where God is in everything. We're really starting to love our home group and really feel community with these people. We're busy nearly every weekend with something fun -- which has its pros and cons. And the days in between are packed with weekly events. But something seems to be missing. (And no, that "something" is NOT the pitter-patter of little feet OR four walls, a roof, a door, some windows, etc....) So we're praying and seeking to find out what it is. Most likely it's more of God. That tends to be the case.
"We're on our knees..."
So I'm driving home from Andrea's tonight, and right as I exit the highway, a police car starts nearing mine. His lights are flashing, but there are no sirens. I'm looking behind me with the dread that only a police car can induce, as the lights are now flashing directly into my rear-view. With regret (and a bit of confusion -- I hadn't broken any laws that I knew of...) I turn on my signal and pull over to the right. --- The car then speeds past me, takes a quick left turn, and moves along.
So my mind starts racing. Of course I quickly realize that I, in fact, had NOT done anything wrong, and the police car was after someone else -- but I still feel that twinge of anxiety and worry stirring in my chest. Had I kept the officer from catching the bad-guy? Did his partner catch my license plate number in order to punish me in the future? Was the driving officer angry that I'd potentially ruined his pursuit? Did he think I was stupid?
And I pull into my apartment complex, and I start crying. Why? Why on earth would such a simple event like that make me cry??? It's so silly really... I worry enTIREly too much about what others think. Which makes it really ironic that I write in this blog to share with the world. But seriously, these are the ridiculous thoughts that run through my head at almost a continuous pace. Over-analyzing every little bity detail and considering everybody else's perspective. I'm well aware that many a time my worries are irrational and my concerns a bit absurd... Again, is this too personal for early blogs?? (See what I mean....?????) I'm just glad I didn't get a ticket. :)
Okay, so. Like I said, not much has been going on around here. Well, nothing super noteworthy or anything. David and I trucking along in our happy little home. Trying to figure out the next big step in life and trying to figure out where God is in everything. We're really starting to love our home group and really feel community with these people. We're busy nearly every weekend with something fun -- which has its pros and cons. And the days in between are packed with weekly events. But something seems to be missing. (And no, that "something" is NOT the pitter-patter of little feet OR four walls, a roof, a door, some windows, etc....) So we're praying and seeking to find out what it is. Most likely it's more of God. That tends to be the case.
"We're on our knees..."
Sunday, September 21, 2008
It's a new day.
Today, I've decided that it's time for a change. It's been a long time coming, but I'm pretty sure the days of xanga are long gone-by, and the era of blogging has begun. And so to inaugurate this here journal, I thought I'd make a little list of other changes going on these days.
1. The weather. Okay, so it's going back up to the low-'90's, but I have sincere hope that Fall is just around the corner. And with every hour that passes we are closer to quite possible the best season in the world. Like Nichole says, "Even when the trees have just surrendered to the Harvest time, forfeiting their leaves in late September and sending us inside -- Still I notice you when change begins, and I am braced for colder winds. I will offer thanks for what has been and what's to come. You are autumn."
2. My perspective on pursuing God. I've never really been that spiritual in my previous blogs, and I doubt that I will be here either. But in all sincerity, the past few years have led up to the present season - filled with grace, but remember that relationships take work. I haven't wanted to study the Word out of obligation or duty -- and by doing so, I've given up on really even trying. Just recently, though, I've come to realize that there is a difference between works for the sake of earning Christ's love - and works for the sake of chasing after the God who saved me by grace.
I've prayed for a way to live this out and see a picture of it in real life. And a few weeks ago, sweet Andrea initiated a Bible Study with Angela discussing Identity. What better way to get back to basics and revisit my perspective on Christ than to study my role as a Christian with other Christian women?
We'll see how it goes. I'm looking forward to it.
3. My health. This has been a lifelong battle, and I think it always will be, but somewhere along the line, I've just GOT to get a handle on this healthy living thing. I'm just not very good at it. Maybe someday I will be.
There are others in the works, but I'll keep them for myself. Most of them have to do with letting go and moving on. Putting to death the weight of the past, and walking in stride toward newness. Is this too personal for a first-time blog? Too deep? Oh well.
I'm excited about this new place. I'll keep you posted on the changes that occur. Posted. No pun intended. I promise.
"You bring restoration."
1. The weather. Okay, so it's going back up to the low-'90's, but I have sincere hope that Fall is just around the corner. And with every hour that passes we are closer to quite possible the best season in the world. Like Nichole says, "Even when the trees have just surrendered to the Harvest time, forfeiting their leaves in late September and sending us inside -- Still I notice you when change begins, and I am braced for colder winds. I will offer thanks for what has been and what's to come. You are autumn."
2. My perspective on pursuing God. I've never really been that spiritual in my previous blogs, and I doubt that I will be here either. But in all sincerity, the past few years have led up to the present season - filled with grace, but remember that relationships take work. I haven't wanted to study the Word out of obligation or duty -- and by doing so, I've given up on really even trying. Just recently, though, I've come to realize that there is a difference between works for the sake of earning Christ's love - and works for the sake of chasing after the God who saved me by grace.
I've prayed for a way to live this out and see a picture of it in real life. And a few weeks ago, sweet Andrea initiated a Bible Study with Angela discussing Identity. What better way to get back to basics and revisit my perspective on Christ than to study my role as a Christian with other Christian women?
We'll see how it goes. I'm looking forward to it.
3. My health. This has been a lifelong battle, and I think it always will be, but somewhere along the line, I've just GOT to get a handle on this healthy living thing. I'm just not very good at it. Maybe someday I will be.
There are others in the works, but I'll keep them for myself. Most of them have to do with letting go and moving on. Putting to death the weight of the past, and walking in stride toward newness. Is this too personal for a first-time blog? Too deep? Oh well.
I'm excited about this new place. I'll keep you posted on the changes that occur. Posted. No pun intended. I promise.
"You bring restoration."
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