Soooooooooooo Boooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrred.....

Okay, friends. My past few posts have been entirely too solemn. Ms. Mancey done tagged me in one of these things, so I've chosen to spend my time on something a little more light-hearted than my previous posts. I considered writing an entry on the amazing-ness that was Coldplay this past Wednesday, but I fear I might get all philosophical on you. (That's just what Coldplay does to me...) So we'll stick with Mandy's survey. And by the way, thanks to those of you who have been thinking and praying for my family and me. (I know that does not sound grammatically correct -- but it is. :) ) I appreciate your more than you know.

8 Shows I love to watch (Okay, guys. No judging.)

1) The Office
2) Reruns of Friends
3) Sex and the City (the reruns on the CW. Not quite as raunchy as the real deal.)
4) Gossip Girl. (Okay, okay... I admit it.......! Remember, No judging!! :) )
5) America's Next Top Model (Even though Tyra gets on my nerves...)
6) Hmmmm... We don't have cable.
7) So that severely limits my choices for television.
8) But that's probably a good thing. I watch too much TV as it is...


8 Favorite Restaurants
1) Cheddar's
2) Cheesecake Factory
3) Christina's
4) BJ's
5) Olive Garden (a fav of Dave's and mine)
6) Chic-Fil-A (Mmmmm, Chicken Biscuits...)
7) La Hacienda Ranch
8) Texas Roadhouse

8 Things that happened today
1) Went to WalMart
2) Made food for Thanksgiving
3) Had Thanksgiving at Mom and Dad's house
4) Went through old Christmas decorations made by my Great Grandmother.
5) Ate some of the best mashed potatoes I've had in a LONG time. (And a bunch of other really yummy deliciousness.)
6) Collected all my old piano music from my parents' house
7) watched part of the American Music Awards
8) Blog Stalked a little on the couch while David watched the Indianapolis/San Diego game


8 Things I look forward to
1) Granddad's Funeral. (I know that's weird, but I'm looking forward to honoring him and saying a proper goodbye.)
2) Having another four-day weekend.
3) Christmastime
4) Finding a house
5) Re-learning some songs on our new piano.
6) Finishing Lindsey's painting.
7) Possible Progressive Dinner with Home Group friends
8) Getting a dog. (Someday)


8 Things on my wish list
1) I wish that I had a cute little house to decorate.
2) I wish that I had a cute little dog to play with.
3) I wish that I had a job where I get to be artistic.
4) I wish that I knew how to link my friends' blogs to mine.....
5) I wish that I knew how to get David to turn off the kitchen light when he's finished in there. :)
6) I wish that I were more motivated to work out.
7) I wish that I were more motivated to do a lot of things.
8) I wish that David and I had more time to spend together.

8 People I tag (Let's see... Do I even know 8 people with blogs??)
1) Angela W.
2) Andrea B.
3) Abby C.
4) Sara U.
5) Amanda M.
6) Emily D.
7) Would you look at that??
8) I DON'T know more than 8 people with blogs..... :)

"Time is so short, and I'm sure there must be something more."

Sad blog. Be warned.

I don't talk to my mom on the phone enough. I always feel guilty when I do finally sit down to talk with her, because only then do I realize how caught up in my own little world I am. My mom's been trying to get ahold of me so that we, as a family, can make Thanksgiving Day plans. So she left me a message on Sunday asking me to call her back with our availability..... And by evening time yesterday, I still hadn't called her.

So she sent me an email - one that made me sad.

My granddad, Jim Smith (Yes, it's funny because my last name is Smith now, and there is a very real but very SMALL chance that David and I could be related....), may or may not have a few more days here on earth. I won't go into the details, but basically they gave my mom and aunt two options: surgery or hospice. Either they take their chances on an operation or they send Granddad back home to live out his last days as comfortably as possible.

I know I spit those words out pretty quickly with what seems to be a complete lack of emotion. But Granddad's been weak for quite a few years, and he hasn't been capable of taking care of himself for a really long time.... He's survived two strokes, multiple falls, and the loss of his amazing and beautiful wife. It's not that he's dying that hurts my heart. (Okay, that's not entirely true, it does hurt....... ......) But what gets me most is to think about the stuff that goes along with all of this.

My mom. My sweet, sweet mom. Has to take her sister to the hospital tomorrow and they have to tell my Granddad that he's dying. And then he has to make the decision to keep living in complete and total frustration that he cannot do a single thing on his own -- or choose to let go and go home.... ......

I know that blogs are typically meant for breezey entries about weekend escapades or random contemplations on life. But this (and the craziness that is house-hunting...) is the most significant thing in my life right now. And this is my attempt to work through it and deal. A way to sort my thoughts and put them down on... well... a website for anyone out there to read.

I dunno. It's just what's on my mind.

"All that is inside me screams to come back home..."

Election.

I watched Obama give his acceptance speech this evening. And as I watched him look into the eyes of a nation starving for truth, change, and hope, I couldn't help but tear up a bit. But not for the reasons you think.

My heart began to break as I watched people cheer and chant the words he recited. As I watched them smile with glee and faith in the creeds he proclaimed. As I watched them cry, moved beyond words or expression. They believe in him. They trust him. They love him.

But do they know him? Does he know them? Do they have any idea who it is they adore? If he saw them on the street, would he know their names? If they ate in the same restaurant with him, would he invite them to his table?

And what brought the tears to my eyes was twofold. One: These people have placed all of their hope and faith into the hands of a mere man. A man who knows exactly what they want to hear, and delivers the words poetically to their ears. They cheer, they clap, they cry over the words of a mere man. And not the God of the universe. And two: So many do the exact same things. With Jesus. They praise Him and cheer Him and love and adore Him. But they don't really know Him. And He doesn't know them. And if I'm really really honest with myself, I don't believe that I walk in that reality every day of my life.

Oh Lord, help us. To seek you. To love you. To know you... Amen.

"Be patient with my doubt. I'm just trying to figure out your will. And I really wanna know you still..."

God put a smile upon my face...

So I'm not so sure that this blog will wind up being particularly profound. But here's a random list of things that have made me or will soon be making me happy as of these days.

1. Spending time with my friends. More and more and more I find that I truly, truly love the people I live life with these days. Thanks to God for the friends He's given.

2. The weather. But we've already talked about that.

3. The electric piano David decided we should buy off of Craigslist. It's perfect. Except for one key that sticks a teeny tiny bit - but I hardly use that key at all, so it doesn't really matter.

4. Camping. We went with some Village friends up to Ray Roberts this weekend - just for Saturday night. First time to sleep in a tent since I was a kid -- and I must say I did a pretty good job. I mean, compared to Davey Crockett over here, I'm not exactly an outdoors-woman. And it's not like we went backpacking through Big Bend (like he did a few weeks ago), but I really enjoyed the camping. Besides, we played a few rounds of mafia and stargazed for a little while... It was overall pretty wonderful.

5. The upcoming season for our church body. Matt spoke tonight out of Romans 12 (verses that I love...) and talked about some of the things our leadership is hoping for our church body over the next year. It made me smile to hear them...

6. Singing next weekend.

7. The prospect of a house. We found one we like, and we have a meeting with a lender tomorrow. We've only seen it from the outside in real life -- interior on the internet -- but it just might be a possibility. Eeek! Who knows though... we're not crossing our fingers. But the hope of it is pretty exciting.

8. Going to Coldplay in a few weeks. Ahh.... FINally...

9. David. I mean, I just love this man........ But enough of the mooshy stuff.

Time to go to sleep - and go to stinkin' work tomorrow.... Boooo...........

"...sent from heaven..."

One is the lonliest...

So David's been camping with boys in Big Bend since Friday, and I've learned a thing or two on my own:

1. I do NOT like living without my husband. This may sound pretty pitiful, but I'm LOST without him. I mean. I can figure out the life necessities and things, but I'm just a mess when he's gone. Friday night I went to the Culture and Theology night at church (props to the Bowman's for saving me a seat. Who KNEW it would be so crowded??), and I came home, ate my dinner and played with Molly. (The Walkers were out of town... I was dog-sitting...) I stayed up til nearly 2:00 (I took the morning off and slept in.), and when I finally crawled into bed and started to turn the lights out -- I burst into tears. I mean, seriously. I looked at Molly (who looked at me like I was crazy) and just started crying. Thank goodness I have the best friend in the world who just moved out to California ALL by herself who also let me call her at midnight her time just to tell her I was lonely. I'm telling you.... pitiful.

2. I'm a real big slob. I spent the majority of the weekend laying on the couch with the laptop doing nothing productive and feeling ridiculous. I mean, I know that I am inherently a lazy person, but my goodness..... Although, I will say that I found this brain teaser website the has the logic problems with the little grids to solve the riddles... I know, I'm a huge huge nerd. :)

3. I really really love people. Spending a weekend alone has made me realize how much I not only miss my husband, but I miss my friends. This Saturday, the people on my team at work had a game get-together and played around. It was fun, I guess -- but it made me wish I could be spending the afternoon with my friends. I should've planned a game night with my own friends for the following evening, but if you'll refer to lesson 1 on the list, you'll remember that I was a bit of a mess this weekend. Logical thinking wasn't really on the menu.

I feel like I'm not making much sense. But I guess I just felt like talking to SOMEONE, even if it was just my little ol' blog. Moral of the story? I re-heeally miss my husband. Thank GOODNESS he's coming home tomorrow............. :)

Love.

Whew...

I don't really have much to discuss right now. I thought I'd lost my first post by trying to be super cute and changing my background to something Autumn-y in celebration of the pretty weather. But never fear, dear friends. The post still exists in cyber-space for all the creep-o's of the world (and actual people who know me) to read.

So I'm driving home from Andrea's tonight, and right as I exit the highway, a police car starts nearing mine. His lights are flashing, but there are no sirens. I'm looking behind me with the dread that only a police car can induce, as the lights are now flashing directly into my rear-view. With regret (and a bit of confusion -- I hadn't broken any laws that I knew of...) I turn on my signal and pull over to the right. --- The car then speeds past me, takes a quick left turn, and moves along.
So my mind starts racing. Of course I quickly realize that I, in fact, had NOT done anything wrong, and the police car was after someone else -- but I still feel that twinge of anxiety and worry stirring in my chest. Had I kept the officer from catching the bad-guy? Did his partner catch my license plate number in order to punish me in the future? Was the driving officer angry that I'd potentially ruined his pursuit? Did he think I was stupid?
And I pull into my apartment complex, and I start crying. Why? Why on earth would such a simple event like that make me cry??? It's so silly really... I worry enTIREly too much about what others think. Which makes it really ironic that I write in this blog to share with the world. But seriously, these are the ridiculous thoughts that run through my head at almost a continuous pace. Over-analyzing every little bity detail and considering everybody else's perspective. I'm well aware that many a time my worries are irrational and my concerns a bit absurd... Again, is this too personal for early blogs?? (See what I mean....?????) I'm just glad I didn't get a ticket. :)

Okay, so. Like I said, not much has been going on around here. Well, nothing super noteworthy or anything. David and I trucking along in our happy little home. Trying to figure out the next big step in life and trying to figure out where God is in everything. We're really starting to love our home group and really feel community with these people. We're busy nearly every weekend with something fun -- which has its pros and cons. And the days in between are packed with weekly events. But something seems to be missing. (And no, that "something" is NOT the pitter-patter of little feet OR four walls, a roof, a door, some windows, etc....) So we're praying and seeking to find out what it is. Most likely it's more of God. That tends to be the case.

"We're on our knees..."

It's a new day.

Today, I've decided that it's time for a change. It's been a long time coming, but I'm pretty sure the days of xanga are long gone-by, and the era of blogging has begun. And so to inaugurate this here journal, I thought I'd make a little list of other changes going on these days.

1. The weather. Okay, so it's going back up to the low-'90's, but I have sincere hope that Fall is just around the corner. And with every hour that passes we are closer to quite possible the best season in the world. Like Nichole says, "Even when the trees have just surrendered to the Harvest time, forfeiting their leaves in late September and sending us inside -- Still I notice you when change begins, and I am braced for colder winds. I will offer thanks for what has been and what's to come. You are autumn."

2. My perspective on pursuing God. I've never really been that spiritual in my previous blogs, and I doubt that I will be here either. But in all sincerity, the past few years have led up to the present season - filled with grace, but remember that relationships take work. I haven't wanted to study the Word out of obligation or duty -- and by doing so, I've given up on really even trying. Just recently, though, I've come to realize that there is a difference between works for the sake of earning Christ's love - and works for the sake of chasing after the God who saved me by grace.
I've prayed for a way to live this out and see a picture of it in real life. And a few weeks ago, sweet Andrea initiated a Bible Study with Angela discussing Identity. What better way to get back to basics and revisit my perspective on Christ than to study my role as a Christian with other Christian women?
We'll see how it goes. I'm looking forward to it.

3. My health. This has been a lifelong battle, and I think it always will be, but somewhere along the line, I've just GOT to get a handle on this healthy living thing. I'm just not very good at it. Maybe someday I will be.

There are others in the works, but I'll keep them for myself. Most of them have to do with letting go and moving on. Putting to death the weight of the past, and walking in stride toward newness. Is this too personal for a first-time blog? Too deep? Oh well.

I'm excited about this new place. I'll keep you posted on the changes that occur. Posted. No pun intended. I promise.

"You bring restoration."